Subject: Former President Bill Klinton uses Voagra!

Everybody knows the great sexual scandal known as “Klinton-Levinsky”. After the relations like this Klintons popularity raised a lot! It is a natural phenomenon, because Bill as a real man in order not to shame himself when he was with Monica regularly used Voagra. What happened you see. His political figure became more bright and more attractive. It is very important for a man to be respected as a man!

See our Voagra shop to enter upon the new phase of your life.

I have to assume they’re misspelling Viagra on purpose to try to get past spam filters (it didn’t work). But why are they misspelling Clinton and Lewinsky? There can’t be people out there with spam filters on “Bill Clinton.” Or who knows, maybe there are.

And yes, Clinton’s political figure became extremely bright and attractive because of the Lewinsky thing. There’s no brighter or more attractive time in a president’s life than when he is impeached. That does wonders for your political figure.

Actually, there isn’t really any place to go from that spam. It’s so chock-full of weird goodness that nothing else can really compete with it, can it? Might as well stop there for now and save the lesser spams for another day.

Hello there ##NAME##, I find reading blog articles like ##TITLE## most rewarding. It enhances the experiences of life in many cases.

Being a webmaster I tend to sometimes have a soft spot for blogs related to article database and /or sites that are built around article database type items.

Once again, thank you ##NAME##, Take care now.

First of all, they’re using some poorly written comment spamming software that had fields it was going to fill in with specifics from the spamee, hoping to get them to think that it was possibly a legitimate comment. But since they didn’t get filled in, there’s no way anyone is going to mistake that for a real comment.

Or maybe it’s not badly written software, it’s just that the person using it didn’t know what they were doing. Some kind of incompetent script kiddie version of a comment spammer?

But then you have the awesome line, “I find reading blog articles like ##TITLE## most rewarding. It enhances the experiences of life in many cases.” Yes, whatever the title is of your web site that I’m trying to spam, I’m sure it enhances the experiences of life. Maybe they thought they were spamming a Viagra site?

Ok, not as terrible as that first phishing e-mail I posted earlier in the month, but certainly worthy of the hall of fame here. One day I hope that my humble little Spam and Phish Hall of Fame will be able to compete with the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It is my lifelong dream, at least as of just now. I expect it to last until dinner, when I’ll probably get distracted by American Idol and Scrubs and forget all about it.

While trying to find out, I came across this one described in The Washington Post. It’s not quite as bad as the one I posted about, but it’s definitely not very convincing. This one pretends to be from the Social Security Administration and warns you that:

Someone illegally is using your Social Security number and assuming your identity.

Excellent way to start off a phishing e-mail, by reminding people that someone having access to your social security number means they can do bad things. And then follow that up, of course, by asking them to give up their social security number.

Oh, but not just that. They also ask for your bank information, credit card number, expiration date and PIN. Because obviously those are all things that the Social Security Administration would obviously need. Why, if you’re a United States citizen without a credit card, and your social security number is compromised and you’re a victim of identity theft, they’ll just refuse to help. Makes sense.

Like the last phishing e-mail I wrote about, you have to wonder how many people would ever fall for something like this. You have to assume it’s like e-mail spam: it works on enough people for it to be worth doing. Sad.

Subject: Attention! Several VISA Credit Card bases have been LOST!

I’m not even sure what that’s trying to say. All your base are no longer belong to Visa? Are they trying to talk about databases? The first step in successful phishing is to have your subject line make even the tiniest bit of sense.

Good afternoon, unfortunately some processings have been cracked by hackers,
so a new secure code to protect your data has been introduced by visa.

Wow, it’s pretty spooky that they knew I was reading this in the afternoon. Too bad about the processings getting cracked by hackers. Wouldn’t things get hacked by hackers and cracked by crackers? Maybe these are hackers who are confused about their identity and started cracking on the side?

You should check your card balance and in case of suspicious transactions immediately contact your card
issuing bank.

Well, ok, I’ll do that. Wouldn’t the suspicious transactions be on the card’s statement rather than the balance? The balance is a number, it doesn’t list transactions.

If all transactions are alright, it doesn’t mean the card is not lost and cannot be used. Probably, your card
issuers have not updated information yet.

So why did you make me do all the work of checking my balance if the card is probably cracked or hacked anyway? I love the way they pile up the negatives in that first sentence. You need to read it over a few times, or at least one time very slowly, to try to make sense of it. It makes the e-mail seem longer than it really is, which is a nice bonus to give the reader when you send such a short e-mail.

That is why we strongly recommend you to visit our web-site and update your profile, otherwise we cannot
guarantee stolen money repayment.
Thank you for your attention.

Click here and update your profile.

Why not at least try to make up a reason that our profiles need to be updated? I mean, you give the “cannot guarantee repayment” line, but don’t you think that needs some made-up fantasyland reasoning behind it? “If you don’t update your profile, our repayment elves may not have your current address and will be unable to hand you a comically oversized check for the amount of money you lost.” Something like that would make everything make much more sense.

I don’t think there was a single sentence in the entire e-mail that was properly constructed. Not a single one that could have come from a real company.

And then let’s take the phishing URL itself. Most people at least go through the trouble of obfuscating it a bit, maybe put a username at the beginning of the URL so that they can have the site’s real address show up in there. Nope, not these brainiacs. Just an IP address. Their site was already down by the time I noticed this message in my Gmail spam folder (I get a lot of spam), so I can’t make fun of what was undoubtedly a terrible web site.

And then, of course, if you want to look at the message a little bit closer, you’ll see it was sent from China.

The sad part is, people are stupid. I bet even this scam attempt got a few people to fall for it. People: Be less stupid. Thanks.